One liners @ 02:39 a.m.

  • Smile — it makes people wonder what you’re up to.
  • If you can’t convince them, confuse them.
  • Marriage is one of the chief causes of divorce.
  • Always and never are two words you should always remember never to use.
  • Someday is not a day of the week
  • Join the army, see the world, meet interesting people, and kill them.
  • Until I was 13, I thought my name was ‘Shut Up.’
  • The road to success is always under construction.
  • When everything’s coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
  • Born free; Taxed to death.
  • Everyone has a photographic memory; some people just don’t have film.
  • Life is unsure; always eat your dessert first.
  • I love being a writer… what I can’t stand is the paperwork.
  • The hardest part of skating is the ice.
  • The trouble with being punctual is that there’s no one there to appreciate it.
  • It’s not the fall that kills you; it’s the sudden stop at the end.
  • Hot glass looks same as cold glass. (Cunino’s Law of Burnt Fingers)