Updates from November, 2008 Toggle Comment Threads | Keyboard Shortcuts

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    Types of knowledge 

    Some one quoted this for fun, but I can’t help wondering about the truth in it.

    All knowledge falls within three kinds:
    1. To know directly
    2. To know how to acquire it from where, when and who
    3. To know the right key words for the search box.



     
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    Made me think 

    The human brain is divided into two halves. The right half has nothing left in it and the left half has nothing right in it.

    – The Times of India, SMS joke of the day, 12th November 2008



     
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    Think! 

    What is the best way to get to Paradise?

    Turn right
    and go straight.



     
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    Why Guys Can’t Win 

    Link

    If you work too hard, there is never any time for her.
    If you don’t work enough, you’re a good-for-nothing bum.

    If she has a boring repetitive job with low pay, it’s exploitation.
    If you have a boring repetitive job with low pay, you should get off your butt and find something better.

    If you get a promotion ahead of her, it’s favoritism.
    If she gets a job ahead of you, it’s equal opportunity.

    If you mention how nice she looks, it’s sexual harassment.
    If you keep quiet, it’s male indifference.

    If you cry, you’re a wimp.
    If you don’t, you’re insensitive.

    If you make a decision without consulting her, you’re a control freak.
    If she makes a decision without consulting you, she’s a liberated woman.

    If you ask her to do something she doesn’t enjoy, that’s manipulation.
    If she asks you, it’s a favor.

    If you try to keep yourself in shape, you’re self-centered.
    If you don’t, you’re a slob.

    If you buy her flowers, you’re after something.
    If you don’t, you’re not thoughtful.

    If you’re proud of your achievements, you’re an egotist.
    If you’re not, you’re not ambitious.

    If she has a headache, she’s tired.
    If you have a headache, you don’t love her anymore.



     
    • Prakash 045026 on 20080127 Permalink

      Are you trying to discourage me from getting involved with women?!!!!!

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    Asking the right question 

    Jack and Max are walking from religious service. Jack wonders whether it would be all right to smoke while praying.

    Max replies, “Why don’t you ask the Priest?”

    So Jack goes up to the Priest and asks, ” Father, may I smoke while I pray ?”

    The Priest replies, “No, my son, you  may not! That’s utter disrespect to our religion.”

    Jack goes back to his friend and  tells him what the good Priest told him.

    Max says, “I’m not  surprised. You asked the wrong question. Let me try.”

    And so Max  goes up to the Priest and asks, “Father, may I pray while I smoke ?”

    To which the Priest eagerly replies, “By all  means, my son. By all means. You can always pray whenever you want to.”

    Moral of the story is, “The reply you get depends on the question you ask.”

    Courtesy : Anonymous forwarded e-mail



     
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    Wisdom of Larry, the Cable Guy 

    1. A day without sunshine is like night.
    2. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
    3. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
    4. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
    5. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
    6. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
    7. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
    8. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
    9. Support bacteria. They’re the only culture some people have.
    10. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
    11. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
    12. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
    13. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand.
    14. OK, so what’s the speed of dark?
    15. When everything is coming your way, you’re in the wrong lane.
    16. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
    17. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
    18. Eagles may soar, but weasels don’t get sucked into jet engines
    19. What happens if you get scared half to death, twice?
    20. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
    21. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering, “What the hell happened?”
    22. Just remember — if the world didn’t suck, we would all fall off.
    23. Light travels faster than sound. That’s why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.



     
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    Monkey film 

    Well, I thought that these .mp3 files at http://www.ernestcline.com were hilarious.

    http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/Nerd_Porn_Auteur-Ernie_Cline.mp3

    http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/When_I_Was_A_Kid-Ernie_Cline.mp3

    http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/Airwolf-Ernie_Cline.mp3

    http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/The_Geek_Wants_Out-Ernie_Cline.mp3

    http://www.ernestcline.com/spokenword/Dance_Monkeys_Dance-Ernie_Cline.mp3

    Not any more. Watch DJ Stelio’s pick from YouTube.

    A user has commented:

    “The greatest trick the devil ever pulled is to convince the world he doesnt exist. Science is man made and thus flawed. Nothing man made is perfect. But the universe is so intrinsically balanced that to dismiss it as coincidence is just stupid. “The world is flat”, “The atom is the smallest thing”, scientic facts always turned out to be bullshit!”

    This is deep, Ha Ha Ha !

     

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